As the days progress it becomes harder to pretend that everything is ok. Life becomes tedious and everything is mundane. The side effects include intense procrastination that escalates the situation. Its getting real stuffy in here.
Sad? Excited? Anxious? People kept asking me, and yet I struggle to answer every time the question was posed. I guessed I feel a mixture of all these emotion. Like a well mixed cake mixture - hard to pin point exactly what each type of ingredient is - I feel the same, difficult to tell my exact emotion.
I guess its also that my leaving has not really hit me yet...I have not shed one tear though out the many farewell in the past weeks. Call me heartless, but some how I just don't feel it. When the people do display some emotion, I have always shrugged it off with a joke.
I guess I am just curious when this parting will really hit me.
So I have been wondering...if the Gay Gene does indeed exist and may show that a person is born gay, and that homosexuality is simply an innate, genetic and, therefore, unchangeable — a normal variant of human nature , with possible common traits…
People unfamiliar with
I remember when I went back to school in
In truth the only animal I have in my garden was a dog. (I think I have only seen a Lion twice in my life which was when I went to the local
Economically the strongest in
Now with less then a week to go, I am leaving all this for good, along with the friendship I have built over the years, to study back home, in a city with a population density so high, when you fart about twenty other people will wrinkle their nose.
They say ‘To get started, you must have a Destination’, well here are just some of the reasons I have started to blog, and eventual aims I would like to see happening. These goals should serve as a guide, hopefully, when I don’t know what to do.
1) To develop a Voice:
This is quite self explanatory, I think writing and communication are very important skills we can’t do without, and this blog is simply a nice way to do this and still receive feedback from others.
2) Improve my Chinese:
As a Taiwanese born guy my English is far better then my Chinese. Although I can still speak and read the language, I can hardly write it after living in another country for 12 years of my youth. Since I am returning home to study, my Chinese needs to be up to scratch. So for this blog, what I would eventually like to do is to translate my posts, so hopefully one day this blog will both be in English and Chinese. Although this definitely won’t be happening anytime soon!
3) Come out the Closet:
I hesitate to write this, as I am still very much uncomfortable about this whole thing. I dunno… although I have known for quite some time now that I am gay, I have mostly kept it to myself. I think publicly stating this on the internet is already quite something for me. So with this blog I would like to gain some confidence and come to terms with myself more, so eventually I would be able to step out this closet.
4) Make friends:
I would like to meet people in similar situations, as I don’t have any gay friends at the moments. More importantly I would like to help others like me (give advice? When I do go through this myself), especially in
These are just some ideas I have for this blog at this moment, (these won’t necessary happen and definitely not any time soon), but I would like to view this as an ongoing project that I can dip into in my spare time. This won’t be a Coming-Out-Blog, I don’t think, but more of a Coming-To-Age-Blog, as I fumble for my place in this world.